Operation: STATIC REAKTUH
by ShadowedTactician
Summary: Having captured the Eds and their jawbreakers, the Kankers have kept them in the trailer park for a week and a half as part of an agreement to give the Eds their candy back. The KND intervene to steal the jawbreakers, and as usual madness ensues...
1. Operation REKROOT

Umbreon: Welcome aboard, ladies and gentlemen, for yet another Team Eeveeon fic of absolute mayhem and chaos!   
Espeon: Oh no, we're not going to get whacked by everyone, are we?   
Umbreon: Er, not in this one. Unfortunately I'm having my big big big big big examinations within the next two months and I wouldn't want to get physically abused, of all things. So folks, we're sorry to say that the fic in which Team Eeveeon does get bashed will have to be delayed.   
At that moment angry shouts of protest ring throughout the auditorium and Umbreon and Espeon hastily retreat to the safety of the curtains from the rain of assorted rubbish.   
Umbreon: What we do for an audience... 

** Operation: S.T.A.T.I.C.-R.E.A.K.T.U.H. **

"Stop The Adult Takeover" Is Clearly Requiring Enactment, All Kids To Unify Helping 

Chapter 1: R.E.K.R.O.O.T. (Readying Enlisted Kids -- Really Out Of Time) 

Umbreon: So, as I was saying a while ago, we won't exactly be letting you desperate readers thrash us -- yet -- but as compensation we've got a new operation as seen above, inspired by the pirate TV station of the Kids Next Door released on the Cartoon Network site in early August. Mind you, judging from what I've been going through, I doubt I'll be able to update this as often...   
Jolteon: And I'll have to be there to defribillate you again.   
Umbreon: Did you have to remind me? I think that was what caused my memory loss... now where I was I?   
Vaporeon: *waving mallet* I seriously hope that pun wasn't intended.   
Umbreon: Would you believe me if I said it wasn't?   
Vaporeon: No.   
*BOINK*   
Umbreon: Ow ow ow ow ow. Anyway, also part of the compensation we're letting everyone who applied take part in this operation, randomly put in here and there.   
Espeon: Yep, and for this part of the operation we'll be introducing to everyone the new kids on the block -- just as well there are so many.   
Umbreon: Say, where's Flareon in all this anyway?   
With a sudden *kerdumpf* the door bursts open and Flareon sprawls onto the floor.   
Flareon: I think I preferred it when we had five participants...   
Espeon: I'll get the first-aid kit.   
Vaporeon: Anaesthetic? *waves mallet*   
Flareon: Don't bother. Urrrrgh... *faints*   
Vaporeon: Oh, dang. 

**The Team Eeveeon A.R.C.H.I.V.E. (A Regally Computerised Holder of Information, Very Efficient), Individual Division**

  
**Subject Identification Number: 16**   
**Subject Identity:** Numbuh 12   
**Other known Identities:** Numbuh 291, Diddy Kong   
**Nationality:** Ukranian-Irish-English   
**Appearance:** Tall buildup, long brown hair, sports colourful striped hoodie, blue jeans, black visor, black sunglasses and sword (age unknown)   
**Known likes/interests:** Codename: Kids Next Door, Goosebumps books, videogames, and playing with Numbuh 11 (her cat Socks)   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** The Delightful Children From Down The Lane, Lizzie, fractions, fish, wearing skirts/dresses   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Night-vision sunglasses, O.P.T.I.C.U.R.L. (Outside, Practical Timepiece, Inside, Concealed Ultrasonic Radar Locator), energy sword   
**Known weaknesses:** When she uses her sword she drains her own energy.   
**Any other useful information:** Her cat, Numbuh 11, has a communicator collar and together they are a formidable force. Numbuh 12 also has a crush on Numbuh 1. 

**Subject Identification Number: 17**   
**Subject Identity:** Jysella   
**Other known Identities:** Jysa, Numbuh 6.5   
**Nationality:** Unknown   
**Appearance:** 15-year-old girl, 5' 4", blonde curly hair, changing-colour eyes, pale skin   
**Known likes/interests:** Reading and absolute gore   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** Shakespeare and strait-jackets   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Anger and weaponry, especially blades   
**Known weaknesses:** Anger and grammatical errors   
**Any other useful information:** Gets injured easily. We mean it. 

**Subject Identification Number: 18**   
**Subject Identity:** Vina Cristobal   
**Other known Identities:** Numbuh 273   
**Nationality:** Filipino-American   
**Appearance:** 9-year-old girl, 4' 8", short black hair, sports shorts all the time   
**Known likes/interests:** Kim Possible, Kids Next Door, Gary the Rat, I Dream of Jeannie, Leave It To Beaver, MacGyver, Kids WB shows, ABC Kids Shows, Chalkzone.   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** KND Villains, homework, and "the Scooter guy that tells me to register on DanMat6288's Time Squad forum"   
**Known strengths/weapons:** We don't know, but nothing like a trip to the arsenal can't change.   
**Known weaknesses:** Television perhaps?   
**Any other useful information:** None whatsoever. 

**Subject Identification Number: 19**   
**Subject Identity:** Dark Rebel Master   
**Other known Identities:** None   
**Nationality:** Unknown   
**Appearance:** 15-year-old boy, brown hair, hazel eyes, tall thin buildup   
**Known likes/interests:** Computer games, TV (Kids Next Door, Spongebob Squarepants, Invader Zim, Yu-Gi-Oh, Morrowind, all of the Megaman Battle Network games, Golden Sun series, Final Fantasies 7 through 9, Advance Wars series)   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** None whatsoever.   
**Known strengths/weapons:** We don't know, but nothing like a trip to the arsenal can't change.   
**Known weaknesses:** TV and computer games   
**Any other useful information:** None whatsoever. 

**Subject Identification Number: 20**   
**Subject Identity:** Sammas666   
**Other known Identities:** Eric, Chosen One, Prince of Doom   
**Nationality:** Unknown   
**Appearance:** 13-year-old boy, blonde hair, blue eyes, sports red shirt, blue jeans, white sneakers and a samurai sword   
**Known likes/interests:** Gore and violence   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** Rainbow Monkeys?   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Powers of darkness and his samurai sword   
**Known weaknesses:** Fredy and Jason movies, niceness, Rainbow Monkeys, emus   
**Any other useful information:** None whatsoever. 

**Subject Identification Number: 21**   
**Subject Identity:** Nikki J.   
**Other known Identities:** Midori No Yotsuba, Numbuh 19, The Radical One, The Collector   
**Nationality:** Japanese-Irish   
**Appearance:** 14-year-old girl, 5' 6", dark brown hair with blonde highlights, brown eyes, sports black tank top, black jeans, black bandana, black sandals, a green necklace with "luck" in Japanese on it and a diamond dagger   
**Known likes/interests:** Numbuh 274   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** Adults and dodgeball   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Combat, handling emergency situations   
**Known weaknesses:** Adults, dodgeball, shrimps, prep   
**Any other useful information:** Speaks very fluent Japanese. 

**Subject Identification Number: 22**   
**Subject Identity:** Carmen   
**Other known Identities:** Baby Gurl & Numbuh 57   
**Appearance:** 5", Puerto Rican female, fourteen years old, long brown hair, green eyes.   
**Known favourites:** Numbuh 1, The Rock, & Austin Powers   
**Known hates:** Preppy girls (A.K.A Mary Sue's) & Lizzie   
**Known interests:** Hanging out, shopping, cussing   
**Known non-interests:** Teachers   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Fighting, using a chainsaw   
**Known weaknesses:** Anything pink   
**Any other useful information:** Really hates Lizzie. Really Likes Numbuh 1. 

Umbreon: Well well well, it looks like we've settled everyone... but what's this?   
A signed review pops up from Mashi the Winged Kitty Girl on 2003-08-18 for Chapter 13.   
Review: NO!   
Espeon: I think she wants us to put her in our fic.   
Umbreon: No problemo, Mashi, if you're reading this just give us the info like that above... well, it's adios from us, so keep watching this space, and let the mayhem, chaos, and insanity officially begin! We thank you for your kind attention. 


	2. Operation TIMESQUAD

_Trojan horses full of candy,   
Poet Poe's feelin' dandy,   
Sigmund Freud's a-hypnotisin',   
Buffalo Bill's so scared o' lies,   
Fleecing serfs is Robin's job,   
"All hail Caesar" What a slob,   
Confucius he just won't stop talkin',   
Winston Churchill naked walkin',   
Albert Einstein what a loss,   
Tie-dye hippie Betsy Ross,   
Houdini the king o' crime,   
Mean Abe Lincoln wedgie time,   
Time to set your clocks 'n' watches,   
So screwed up they'll make you nauseous --   
This is the Time Squad!_

** Operation: S.T.A.T.I.C.-R.E.A.K.T.U.H. **

"Stop The Adult Takeover" Is Clearly Requiring Enactment, All Kids To Unify Helping 

Chapter 2: T.I.M.E.S.Q.U.A.D. (The Intrepid Musketeers Engage Strenuous Quest: Underagers and D-san) 

**The Team Eeveeon A.R.C.H.I.V.E. (A Regally Computerised Holder of Information, Very Efficient), Individual Division**

  
**Subject Identification Number:** 10   
**Subject Identity:** Rhea Baugher   
**Other known Identities:** Dynasty San   
**Nationality:** Korean-American   
**Appearance:** Big-boned, 5'10", sixteen years old, long brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, tan line on left wrist (courtesy of the watch she wears nearly all the time), wears men's outfits (mostly black and red)   
**Known likes/interests:** DBZ, Marilyn Manson, The Rock, Numbuh 5, Panthro, Gambit, Vegeta, Writing fics, making and answering surveys, eating sushi, being a crazy little crackpot, Drama class   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** Alice in Chains, Miaka haters, The DCFDTL, the Lunataks, Snarfer, Chiaotzu, Vince McMahon, root beer, English and Lit classes, not getting enough to eat, counseling, wearing skirts   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Pretty smart, doesn't give up, can improvise when necessary, whipping things with her bull whip, doesn't take crap from anyone (At this point Flareon threw out the pile of Miltank poo he had in his paw and said, "Dang.")   
**Known weaknesses:** Shakespeare, chocolate and coffee, Professor X (creeps her out), easily distracted by music (especially Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, and Marilyn Manson), doesn't know when to quit, gets a little crazy with her whip, prone to berserker rages   
**Any other useful information:** Chocolate covered coffee beans make her hyper. Or should we say, mega, ultra, super, poly, and every other big prefix ever existed. 

Meanwhile, in the year 1000000 A.D. at the Time Squad Robot Hospital...   
Larry: Whee! Look at me everyone, I'm the queen of France!   
Sheila: Hasn't changed much, has he?   
Buck: Nope. Neither has XJ.   
XJ-5: Larry you're an idiot. Larry you're an idiot. Larry you're an idiot. Larry you're an idiot...   
Buck: When I get my hands on those chrono-cronies I'll...   
Sheila: Buck, this is a hospital. And do you have any idea how corny that sounds?   
Buck: Yes.   
Sheila slaps her forehead and groans. The door to the ward opens, revealing Otto and a green alien-like creature, Sally the Celebi, dressed in Time Squad uniform.   
Otto: Tuddrussel! Sheila! How are the guys?   
Buck/Sheila: Not good.   
Everyone gazes at the two robots who have begun to fight like children.   
Larry: ARGH! Unhand me you scoundrel!   
XJ-5: Larry you're an idiot. Larry you're an idiot. Larry you're an idiot. Larry you're an idiot...   
Otto: Ouch.   
Sally: The Chrono Gang really got us this time, eh Sheila?   
Sheila: Got that right.   
Otto: The who?   
Sally: The Chrono Gang. They fly about all over time making mischief all over the place. Very irritating indeed; no wonder they requested I come and help.   
Sheila: A Timetravel Pokemon would come in handy now that our robots are all wiped out by that virus the Chronos inputted.   
Buck: And now it's up to you two to help rescue time! With those Chronos running amok, they could halt time completely!   
Otto: T-t-two of us? That leaves Sally, and... and...   
Sally: Yes. He means you Otto. We'll leave right away.   
Before Otto can protest Sally uses her telechronokinetic powers to transport them back to a certain top secret headquarters in the year 2003... 

Back in the Team Eeveeon Headquarters everyone is bustling away doing their stuff and minding their own business. Team Eeveeon themselves are busy fiddling about the controls in the main control room... except Umbreon and Espeon.   
Jolteon: Where's Umbreon and Espy?   
Espeon: *bursting in* Don't call me that!   
Flareon: Brought him more books again?   
Espeon: Chemistry, Physics, Additional Mathematics, Chinese. Ouch.   
Vaporeon: Why the hell would they call a subject Additional if they made it compulsory?   
Espeon: Search me.   
Just then a light explodes in the room revealing Otto and Sally.   
Jolteon: Hey, Sally. Long time, no see. How's the life at Time Squad?   
Sally: Fine, I suppose. *looks about* Where's Umbreon?   
Espeon: End-of-years.   
Sally: Understandable.   
Vaporeon: What brings you here from the year 1000000 A.D. anyway? And what's with the Time Squad kiddo?   
Gesticulating their arms Otto and Sally tell their story.   
Sally: So, now that all our computers in the year 1000000 A.D. have been disabled by the virus, I was thinking...   
Flareon: The computer's open to your use, Sally. Vaporeon, go get the Kids Next Door and D-San.   
Vaporeon: D-San? Why her?   
Flareon: She's given us a place in Backstreet Blowup so Umbreon thought to return her the favour.   
As Vaporeon exits the room, Sally inserts a versatile system-upgrading disk into the main computer, logs on to the Time Squad Network, and checks up the mission list...   
Otto: So what's the situation, Sally?   
Sally: I'm receiving signals indicating interchronological kidnaps all over... and they all seem to lead to the year 999999 A.D. point five....   
Everyone else: The year 999999 A.D. point five?!   
Sally shrugs. 

Later, after some brief introductions, packing up and mussing around with time, the gang was snug as a bug in a rug within the confinements of the Kids Next Door P.I.P.E.P.O.D. (Pipe Interior Penetrating Electric Powered Oscillating Drill).   
D-San: You guys brought this thing back? I thought it got thrashed in the turnip frenzy?   
Numbuh 1: Not after Sally went back in time and rescued it for us. Mind you, she had to pull off some of them before she entered the time continuum...   
Sally: (sharply) I don't want to talk about it.   
Gripping the controls, Numbuh 2 skilfully guides the vehicle along the surface of the desolate iron-grey planet until a humongous pipe comes into sight. Brandishing a pair of pneumatic drills the P.I.P.E.P.O.D. cleanly cuts a kid-sized hole in the pipeline.   
Numbuh 1: Wow. What the hell did you do with the drills?   
Sally: Oh, nothing, I just went to borrow some from a certain dentist we all know too well. Diamond's the strongest rock in the world you know...   
Touching down on the cold surface, everyone else but Numbuh 2 steps out, since he volunteered to guard the P.I.P.E.P.O.D.. Everyone climbs into the pipe and slowly crawls along the tunnel, against the strong ventilation gale. Luckily the A.-M.A.G.N.E.T. (All-Material-Attaching Gloves Nailing Every Terrain) supplied by Jolteon came in handy.   
Sally: You know, for a gang as sophisticated as the Chrono Gang, they sure are kinda slack when it comes to --   
The wind direction suddenly changes, sucking everybody up like a giant vacuum cleaner. Everyone screams as they tumble about like dust particles.   
Sally: -- securityyyyyyyyy...! 

Later, as our heroes wake up...   
Sally: This does not go in my mission log, hear?   
Everyone else: Yeah... (cross fingers behind back)   
Booming laughter explodes throughout the room.   
Sally: Alright, Fred Nobal, this is getting stupid. Very stupid.   
Fred Nobal: Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!   
Numbuh 2: Who the...   
Sally: Fred Nobal, Gran Fatherclock, Hans Second and Deri Teary. Meet the Chrono Gang. Just one snag... no one knows what they look like.   
Numbuh 2: How come?   
Otto: First, because they never show themselves, and second, because Umbreon's too lazy.   
Everyone else: Ah...   
Fred Nobal: You'll never beat us this time, Time Squad! We've disabled all your robots, conked out your computer system, and we've kidnapped the most brilliant --   
D-San: Yeah, yeah, cut the crap, bring it on!   
Fred Nobal: We've got Alfred Nobel, Isaac Newton, Niels Bohr, Albert Einstein, and Og...   
Numbuh 3: Og? From Mike Lu and Og? Can I get his autograph?   
Numbuh 1: First things first, how do you get out of this cage?   
D-San slashes her bullwhip through the metal. Everyone falls out hurtling towards the floor.   
Numbuh 4: Nice one. But next time, not so hard...   
D-San: Hey, if you can't take the pain, then --   
Hatchways open, releasing a whole stream of robots.   
Numbuh 5: Deja vu Samurai Jack Episode XVII.   
Numbuh 1: Kids Next Door, battle stations!   
Fred Nobal: It's too late! We've sent these robots all throughout time to take over time!   
Otto: How irritatingly predictable...   
As a battle rages with much PG-13 detail that Umbreon is unfortunately too lazy to add in... Otto sprouts two antennae.   
Otto: Damn. It happened again.   
The battle cries gradually give way to screams as everyone starts to take on fly features.   
Sally: We've got to go back to the Stone Age... and fast!   
Back at Time Squad HQ...   
Sheila: Done it. I've thrown the virus off Larry.   
Buck: Good. Something's up with the Stone Age. I'll go with Larry; you stay here and fix XJ.   
Sheila: Right. 

Back in the Stone Age, the robots are busy attacking homo homo sapiens, who are fighting back with fire -- literally.   
*KAPOW*   
Sally: ATTACK!   
Details are left out, again, as the robots take a serious beating. In the meantime, Buck and Larry enter and help out, and eventually all the robots are vanquished.   
Sally: Well, that's it for now.   
Larry: Yes, let's go home.   
Buck: Right... Ah! A bee!   
*SPLAT*   
Everyone else: (gazes glaringly) TUDDRUSSEL!!! 

Jolteon: We apologise for the crappy episode. Umbreon is still in a trauma from his end-of-year-examinations, and as a result I'm taking over. Thank you for your kind attention, and keep the reviews com --   
Before Jolteon can finish the audience launches the catapult of compost which hits Jolteon head on.   
Jolteon: You're welcome. *faints* 


	3. Operation GRIMANDEVIL

Grim: AH HA HA HA HA HA!   
Hector: Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!   
Grim: AH HA HA HA HA HA!   
Hector: Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!   
Grim: AH HA HA HA HA HA!   
Hector: Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!   
Mandy: Aw, shaddup. 

** Operation: S.T.A.T.I.C.-R.E.A.K.T.U.H. **

"Stop The Adult Takeover" Is Clearly Requiring Enactment, All Kids To Unify Helping 

Chapter 3: G.R.I.M.A.N.D.E.V.I.L. (Ghastly Reek Is Making All Nauseous, Destroy Essence Violators: Immediate Liquidation) 

**The Team Eeveeon A.R.C.H.I.V.E. (A Regally Computerised Holder of Information, Very Efficient), Individual Division**

**Subject Identification Number:** 23   
**Subject Identity:** Mashi An'krekku   
**Other known Identities:** Mish-Mash, Mishi-Mashi, Mash, Haruko, Haruko-sama, Mashi-sama   
**Nationality:** Furcadian   
**Appearance:** 5' 2", Feline Anthromorph. White fur, pink markings, albino eyes. Little tufts of pink hair stick out from the tips of the ears and tail. Sports a pink Homestar Runner tee and a skirt with pink fire print   
**Known loves:** Anime, Kingdom Hearts, Cookies   
**Known hates:** Things that are just plain stupid (like purple ketchup and green chocolate sauce and vanilla pepsi), writer's block   
**Known strengths/weapons:** A left-handed Rickenbacker 4001 Azureglo including generator with rip cord   
**Known weaknesses:** Sora from Kingdom Hearts, he's so HOT! (Jolteon stops reading the cue card.)   
**Any other useful information:** Sneaks up on adults and does stupid things to them like whacking them over the head with a guitar. Gets caught but escapes using her claws. (Team Eeveeon: ELLLLLLLLLLLLL KABONG!) 

**Subject Indentification Number:** 24   
**Suject Indentity:** Stitchy   
**Other known Identities:** That-freaky-purple-thing, Spymaster, Femme-Stitch, Experiment 627, 627, You   
**Nationality:** Turoain   
**Appearance:**Femmelised, purplised, 2' 3" version of Stitch.   
**Known loves:** Caffiene, caffiene and caffiene   
**Known hates:** Being bashed with that Rickenbacker. (Jolteon: What the heck's a Rickenbacker? Vaporeon: Apparently, it's some kind of guitar.)   
**Known strengths/weapons:** All-material attaching claws, spying abilities and a crude looking slingshot made of scrap metal, plus a bag of exploding pellets. (The Polly Wolly Politoed A Crapella Team: THEY EXPLODE ON CONTAAAAAAAAACT!!)   
**Known Weaknesses:** Caffiene, caffiene and... anyone wanna guess what's the last one?   
**Any other useful information:**She talksh like thish. 

Jolteon: Hi, people! This is Jolteon, Umbreon's temporary replacement, writing for this chapter!   
Rick Dee sound effect: Gee, that's greaaaaaaaat.   
Jolteon: Glad you agree.   
Suddenly the door bursts in with four very angry Politoed standing in the doorway.   
Jolteon: What the -- ?!   
Polly: This is for calling us crap! C'mere, you!   
Jolteon: ARGH! GET OFF ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... 

Meanwhile, far away on Bunny Island...   
Hector: SKARR! Where's my vanilla ice-cream?   
Skarr: They don't have any left, sir... Doctor Major Ghastly's borrowed all of it.   
Hector: WHAT?!   
DMG: Sorry, sir, I borrowed it to complete my Stink Ray II!   
Everyone: Not that contraption again?!   
DMG: Besides newly-added security features, it also includes brand new types of stenches, including the all-powerful vanilladehyde... three ten-thousandths of a gram will pong out a whole indoor stadium! (Author's note: This substance is made in a laboratory and it really exists.)   
Skarr: I can barely contain myself with excitement. 

Meanwhile, back at Team Eeveeon headquarters...   
Jolteon: I see that the peeps on Bunny Island are back to their old tricks again... how's Umbreon doing?   
Espeon: Let's say that the TM 04 (Hoenn Model) he gave me earlier this year paid off... so Hector's fooling around with his stink ray again? What about Cod Commando?   
Jolteon: He's gone. Billy chewed him to a pulp in the finale of Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. (What A Really Peculiar Epic Document), remember.   
Espeon: Ah, shit. I'll go call in our guests... 

On the rocky external surface of Bunny Island Headquarters two exotic creatures scale the sloping, curved walls. One is a feline anthropomorph named Mashi. The other is a science experiment called Stitchy. Beneath the surface of the surrounding waters lies the recently introduced Kids Next Door aquatic transportation device, the S.A.I.L.F.I.S.H. (Submarine Attaining Instant Lightspeed From Incognito Subaqua Headquarters). The anthropomorph smoothly whips a P.I.P.E.R. (Phone In Pipe Emergency Radio) out of her pocket.   
Mashi: *GHHHK* This is the Cat's Eye calling Depth Charge, over!   
Numbuh 1: *GHHHK* Depth Charge receiving you loud and clear, Cat's Eye! Now move into the base and locate the stink ray! Over!   
Stitchy grabs the P.I.P.E.R..   
Stitchy: *GHHHK* Thish ish Cat'sh Eye calling Depth Charge -- YOU FORGOT TO GIVE USH THE CLOTHESH PEGSH! Over.   
A sudden fumbling of hands releases the P.I.P.E.R. from Stitchy's grip, letting it fall into the sea.   
Stitchy: Damn!   
Mashi: Never mind that, let's just get in...   
Silently crawling into the bunny's left eye socket, the two comrades walk on the shiny floor of the Doctor's laboratory, amidst all her laboratory apparatus. Luckily for them, no one is standing guard as everyone else is witnessing Hector using his cannon to kick up a stink. Mashi and Stitchy manage to get a peek as they slowly open the laboratory door.   
Mashi: Great. We've located the ray. Now how the heck do we tell Numbuh 1?   
Stitchy: We take mattersh into our own handsh! I got a plan...   
Sliding across the room like a bowling ball, Stitchy rolls over where General Skarr is sitting with his notebook and pencil in hand. Hector is busily going through his email and firing occasional shots with the Stink Ray.   
Hector: So that settles South Africa, New York, Baghdad, the Antarctic... are you taking all this down, Skarr?   
Skarr: Yes, sir *muttering under his breath* -- loin steakhead.   
Suddenly, Stitchy moves over, grabs Skarr by the sleeve, batters him to a pulp and puts his clothes on. Meanwhile, Hector is still deciding which city to fire next.   
Hector: Ah! I think I'll let Skarr take the honours this time. Skarr!   
Stitchy emerges from the corner dressed in uniform.   
Hector: Skarr! Take your position at the ray.   
DMG: *thinking* Hmmm... Skarr looks a bit off colour today... wait a minute, Skarr didn't look off colour today!   
Rushing over, DMG suddenly tackles Stitchy to the ground and rips off the uniform.   
Stitchy: Oopsh! Bushted!   
Pulling out her crude slingshot, she begins to fire the deadly pellets.   
Guards: They explode on CONTAAAAAAAAAACT!   
Hector: Don't sing, you idiots! Annihilate the freak!   
Mashi: Mashi An'krekku TO THE RESCUE!   
Wielding her Rickenbacker, Mashi smacks the ConCarne Cannonballs like baseballs, which ricochet all around the room, hitting walls and people alike.   
DMG: Don't worry, chief! I'll use my latest invention!   
Suddenly whipping out a small laser pistol from her hidden utility belt, DMG aims it threateningly at Mashi.   
DMG: You wouldn't want to make me use this!   
*Cut to Evil ConCarne datasheet*   
Computer: Ghastly Labs P.R.I.M.O.R.D.I.A.L. -- Pocket Rifle Initiating Major Organismic Rapid Devolution Including Argonised Laser.   
*Cut back to the show*   
A catfight immediately breaks out. DMG busily fires her new weapon, while Mashi tries to hit her with her Rickenbacker. Just then, a humongous mechanical fish crashes through the wall, with the all too familiar KND logo.   
Numbuh 1: Release the C.L.A.M.B.B.O.M.B.!   
*Cut to KND datasheet*   
Computer: Kids Next Door C.L.A.M.B.B.O.M.B. -- Clam Loaded Attack Machine Blasting Bivalves Of Mass Banefulness.   
*Cut back to the show*   
Mashi: So they DID build that clam thingy...   
Just as an all-out melee is about to take place, a sudden explosion takes place in the space between the two parties, revealing...   
Hector: Grim? Billy? Mandy?!!   
Grim: Were you really expecting a Grim and Evil fanfic without the grim part?   
Hector: YOU! You ran me out of business in America! You've usurped my position as a cartoon character! I am a mere piece of history because of you!   
Mandy: Hey teddy bear, don't blame us, blame Atoms.   
DMG: What about him? *points to Billy*   
Grim: Billy is a harmless idiot!   
Billy: Yes sir, I am! Thank you!   
Numbuh 4: Will you people cut the cruddy talk and start FIGHTING!   
Mandy: Grim?   
Grim mutters something under his breath, waves his scythe, and conjures a trio of chairs and a box of snacks.   
Mandy: Thanks, Grim.   
As Mandy, Billy and Grim sit down on the chairs and munch on the snacks, the fight continues. The ConCarne forces are continuously launching their cannonballs, which are countered by Mashi's baseball swings and Stitchy's catapulted pellets.   
Polly Wolly Politoed A Capella Team: *gagged* MMMF MMMMF MMFBLE MMMMMMMMFFF!!!   
At the same time, the Kids Next Door are handling the newly-revealed cannon, firing the bivalves all over the place and knocking out the guards. Suddenly, Billy doubles over and falls off his chair.   
Mandy: Too much popcorn, I presume.   
Billy makes some gagging, choking noises. He opens his mouth, and a fish skeleton dressed in army clothing pops out, which immediately takes a fighting stance.   
DGM: Look out, chief! It's the remains of Cod Commando!   
Hector: Pah! What can a mere fish skeleton do?   
Cod Commando leaps up, grabs one of the ConCarne guns on the floor, and begins a mad firing spree.   
DGM: It can do THAT, chief!   
Hector: My stink ray! HELP!   
Immediately Numbuh 1 sets his eyes on the stink ray lying in the far edge of the room.   
Numbuh 1: Kids Next Door, ATTACK!   
Responding to their leader's command, the Kids Next Door mobilise the C.L.A.M.B.B.O.M.B. and focus all the clams onto the ray. Stitchy fires her pellets, and Cod Commando fires the gun. Eventually some of the chambers break and the clams fall in.   
Hector: Fire all you want, fools! No nose can stand stenches like that!   
DGM: Chief, clams DON'T have noses.   
Suddenly, Skarr hops out of the place where Stitchy had bound and gagged him, and with a terrifying scream, launches himself at the attacking forces...   
Skarr: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!   
Mandy: Pass the peanuts, Grim.   
Unfortunately, having only one eye, he misses, colliding straight on with the control panel of the stink ray. Evidently the golf ball that hit him in the other eye had its side effects.   
Hector: NOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!   
Realising that an explosion is imminent, Cod Commando grabs a pair of pliers out of his pocket and reaches for his helicopter tooth...   
Grim: Oh no you don't! You're on a trip to the underworld my friend!   
With a sweep of the scythe, Cod Commando disappears in a wisp of black smoke.   
Mandy: Just as well. He was giving me indigestion.   
Then, with a sound resembling a resounding posterior explosion, the Stink Ray explodes.   
*KAFRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP!!!!*   
All the ConCarne forces, Kids Next Door, Mashi, Stitchy, Billy and Mandy immediately sprawl all over the floor, gagging, choking and groaning.   
Grim:*grinning smugly* It doesn't hurt. I have no eyes. 

Jolteon: And so, that ends another mission! How's our A Capella Team?   
Vaporeon: If you're talking about the one that's tied up and gagged, they're doing fine.   
Espeon: Speaking of fine, look who's back up!   
Umbreon: Hey, people. I hope nothing went wrong while I was in fevered delirium...   
Flareon: What's this? *looks through Team Eeveeon calendar* November 7th -- Mother Tongue "O" Level Examinations?   
Umbreon: ARRRRRRRRGH! *faints*   
Jolteon: Nice one, Flareon... anyway, keep those reviews coming, everybody! It looks like I'll be taking the next chapter, too...   
Vaporeon/Flareon/Espeon: ARRRRRRRRRGH! *all faint* 


	4. Operation EDEDDANDEDDI

Eddy: Take the boredom out of the burbs -- with Eddy's Guide to Suburbia! Got lawns to mow? No problemo! Trailer trash on your doorstep? Bon voyagee! Hot chicks to impress? Get over you! And for the ultimate filthy pleasure, just follow Eddy's Guide to Suburbia, and you'll always be the centre of attention!   
*BZZZT*   
Umbreon: We apologise for the lack of detail in this advertisement -- believe me, the real thing is funnier than it sounds.   
Espeon: Hey, boss *heave*, do I take these to Jolteon's cell too?   
Umbreon: That's right, Espeon.   
Flareon: What's she taking to Jolteon anyway?   
Umbreon: Oh, just some Type Double-H torture devices to punish him for putting the wrong rating.   
Vaporeon: Type Double-H torture devices? What are Type Double-H torture devices?   
Umbreon: Holiday homework. Enough said.   
Flareon: And we now return you to your original programme.   
*BZZZT*   
Narrator: Ed, Edd and Eddy. Next.   
Eddy: Right here on Operation S.T.A.T.I.C.-R.E.A.K.T.U.H.! 

** Operation: S.T.A.T.I.C.-R.E.A.K.T.U.H. **

"Stop The Adult Takeover" Is Clearly Requiring Enactment, All Kids To Unify Helping 

Chapter 4: E.D.E.D.D.A.N.D.E.D.D.I. (Ensnared Delectables Emergency Does Damage And Needlessly, Everyone Disputes Destructively Instantaneously) 

**Subject Identification Number: 16**   
**Subject Identity:** Numbuh 12   
**Other known Identities:** Numbuh 291, Diddy Kong   
**Nationality:** Ukranian-Irish-English   
**Appearance:** Tall buildup, long brown hair, sports colourful striped hoodie, blue jeans, black visor, black sunglasses and sword (age unknown)   
**Known likes/interests:** Codename: Kids Next Door, Goosebumps books, videogames, and playing with Numbuh 11 (her cat Socks)   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** The Delightful Children From Down The Lane, Lizzie, fractions, fish, wearing skirts/dresses   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Night-vision sunglasses, O.P.T.I.C.U.R.L. (Outside, Practical Timepiece, Inside, Concealed Ultrasonic Radar Locator), energy sword   
**Known weaknesses:** When she uses her sword she drains her own energy.   
**Any other useful information:** Her cat, Numbuh 11, has a communicator collar known as the C.D.-W.O.M. (Communicator Designed Wearers Only Moggies) and together they are a formidable force. Numbuh 12 also has a crush on Numbuh 1. 

In the Kids Next Door Treehouse, our favourite five heroes are preparing for another mission...   
Numbuh 1: Our satellite system has detected a storage compartment of Grade 'A' jawbreakers in the suburbian community not far away from here -- about 1.5 hours S.K.Y.C.L.A.W. flying time.   
Numbuh 2: Grade 'A' jawbreakers?!   
Numbuh 5: Ya mean those that come in sizes bigger than ya head?   
Numbuh 1: My point exactly. Unfortunately it appears that this storage compartment is in the control of a trio of male teenagers only known to the locals as... Ed, Edd and Eddy.   
Lightning flashes in the background as Numbuh 3 acts scared.   
Numbuh 1: These teenagers have countlessly attempted to trick the local kids out of their hard-earned savings to purchase Grade 'A' jawbreakers -- though most of the scam attempts were completely unsuccessful. Still, they continue to be a menace to the local kids and must be stopped. Our mission is to locate these Grade 'A' jawbreakers and procure them for the Kids Next Door. *walks over to the door* As this mission has quite a high danger rating, and since this mission _is_ under the bidding of Team Eeveeon, I'd like you to meet the Kids Next Door operatives who will be joining us for this mission. Girls and boys, please welcome Numbuhs 11 and 12.   
Numbuh 1 opens the door to reveal a brunette girl and a cat beside her.   
Numbuh 4: Our 11th operative is a CAT?!   
Numbuh 2: Hey, relax, our 6th operative is a skunk.   
Numbuh 3: I thought Jessie was Numbuh 6.   
Numbuh 5: She switched to Numbuh 897. She's merely known as Numbuh 6, but ya get the idea.   
Numbuh 3: What idea?   
Numbuh 5: Ah, just forget Numbuh 5 said anything... 

90 minutes later, our seven operatives hover in the S.K.Y.C.L.A.W. over the suburbian community where Ed, Edd and Eddy live, but with no sign of the three target teenagers. With Numbuh 2 left behind to guard the S.K.Y.C.L.A.W., the other six slide down the yellow claw Numbuh 2 lowered into a tree, right where the cul-de-sac is and where the kids are having a heated discussion.   
Numbuh 1: Er, pardon us, fellow kids, but do you know where to find, er... Ed, Edd and Eddy? *lightning flash*   
Rolf: We have not seen the Ed boys since yesterday evening, funny bald boy wearing big black glasses.   
Numbuh 1: What did he call me?   
Kevin: *shoves Rolf away into a trash can pile* What he's trying to say, we ain't seen those dorks at all.   
Numbuh 1: Oh. What do we do now?   
Numbuh 12: I can settle this...   
Pressing a button on her watch, the watch face suddenly opens up like a hatch, and up comes a gadget that resembles a set of miniature binoculars.   
Numbuh 12: Do you guys have any pictures of the three Eds?   
After rummaging about in their pockets, Numbuh 1 manages to produce a grubby picture he printed out from the Kids Next Door HQ Information Archives.   
Numbuh 12: Good enough.   
Holding the picture in front of the O.P.T.I.C.U.R.L.'s lens, Numbuh 12 waits as the infra-red rays scan in the image. After a while, it spins around, and suddenly stops, firing a red laser in the south-eastern direction.   
Numbuh 12: Right. Our targets can be found in that direction.   
Numbuh 1: Alright Kids Next Door, let's report back to the S.K.Y.C.L.A.W. *notices Numbuh 4 is not following* I said, LET'S REPORT BACK TO THE S.K.Y.C.L.A.W. ALREADY!   
Jimmy: Argh! Sarah! Help!   
Sarah: Get your hands off him, you blonde!   
Numbuh 4: OW! Stop hitting me, damnit! Your boyfriend's got a -OW!- Type "R" torture device!   
Sarah: You still get off him! And he is not my boyfriend! 

Much, much later...   
Numbuh 4: OW! What?! I only said "Women"... OW!   
Numbuh 11: _They've been doing that to him since the past hour or so...?_   
Numbuh 1: Don't ask.   
Numbuh 12: *under her breath* Casanova...   
Numbuh 2: Er... Numbuh 1? I think we've reached our... destination?   
The agents stopped behind a trailer to hear screeching sounds. Apprehensively they peeked over the top of the trailer to find three girls performing unmentionable acts with the three Eds... nothing in the restricted range, of course, but naturally our pre-teen operatives do nothing to hide their disgust. After some time of dry heaving...   
Numbuh 1: Alright team, this is what we do. Numbuhs 2, 3, 11 and 12, follow me into the trailer to find those jawbreakers. Numbuhs 4 and 5, try to create a diversion...   
With that, the four Kids and the one Kat disappear inside the trailer, thanks to some lock-picking with Numbuh 2's emergency hairpin. 

As the teenage torture continues, the three Eds writhe in apparent agony, much to the delight of their Kanker counterparts. Suddenly, a glowing mass rolls past...   
Eddy: Hey! A glowing jawbreaker!   
Edd: A glowing jawbreaker? Since when were carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, artificial colouring and flavouring known as bioluminescent?   
Eddy: Who cares Double-D! After that jawbreaker!   
Spurred on by the mention of the confectionery that they practically worship, the three Eds suddenly break free from the grasp of the Kanker sisters and chase the glowing orb in their infamous respective postures, with the Kanker sisters following closely behind. After fifteen minutes of cat-and-mouse, the glowing "jawbreaker" suddenly trips over a rock, bounces off several trailers like in a pinball machine, and SPLATZ the Kanker sisters right in their faces.   
Edd: SPLATZ?   
Eddy: What's going on?!   
As if the answer his question, the glowing object bursts open abruptly... 

As Numbuh 4 and Numbuh 5 watch a glistening yellow in the distance, their fellow operatives emerge from the trailer, each carrying a paper bag of the jawbreakers.   
Numbuh 1: Alright team, let's head back to the S.K.Y.C.L.A.W. and double quick.   
Numbuh 4: Numbuh 5? If those are the jawbreakers, what was that thing you threw at those teenagers?   
Numbuh 5: Ah, just some yellow muck Numbuh 5 found near a window in the trailer... *picks up the container that held the stuff* Over-radiated mashed potatoes? What the heck would anyone do with over-radiated mashed --   
Before Numbuh 5 could finish her sentence the three Eds raced past her, screaming their heads off. Following them were what looked like a bunch of kiss-shapes fired from the lips of Lee, who had somehow -- along with her other two sisters -- grown to skyscraper size.   
Numbuh 3: That's what you do with over-radiated mashed potatoes?   
Numbuh 1: RUN!   
Following the orders of their leader, the seven operatives dash across the trailer park, in full view of the mutant Kankers.   
Lee: Hey! The jawbreakers!   
Eddy suddenly screeches to a halt and turns back, catching a glimpse of the seven agents running away with their booty.   
Eddy: You're right!   
Lee/Eddy: Get them!   
Having found their new targets, the six teenagers lunge towards the Kids Next Door operatives, and for a moment nothing can be seen as a free-for-all ensues.   
Lee: Those jawbreakers are ours!   
Eddy: Oh no you don't! We spent a week and a half at your place, now you pay your half of the contract!   
Marie: That was a week and a half?   
May: Gee, time sure flies when you're having fun!   
Lee: STOP!   
The six teenagers stop in mid-fight to discover that their targets have escaped and were trying to head out of the park. Standing up in their full height, the three Kanker sisters give chase, with the Eds trying to keep up to regain their precious candy. Meanwhile, as our seven Numbuhs run...   
Numbuh 4: ARGH! I'm hit!   
Numbuh 3: Numbuh 4!   
Numbuh 4: Numbuh 3... Go on without me...   
Numbuh 3: No, I mean look at your hoodie!   
Numbuh 4: Huh?... Ewwww, lipstick!   
Numbuh 12: Alright! It's action time!   
Brandishing her energy sword, Numbuh 12 turns around to face the attacking females. Numbuh 11 does the same, and together they leap towards the Kankers, Samurai Jack style.   
Numbuh 1: Holy cow.   
In a pincer motion, Numbuhs 11 and 12 slash the Kankers faces repeatedly, while dodging their flailing upper limbs. After that, they leap back onto the ground, leaving the Kankers with new scars and biker chick haircuts.   
Numbuh 11: _Man, I hate acne on my claws. Numbuh 12?_   
Numbuh 12 tries to reply, but she is lying on the ground, apparently completely exhausted.   
Numbuh 1: Numbuh 12! Are you okay?   
Noticing the sword has a piece of paper attached to it, Numbuh 1 picks up the sword and reads it.   
Numbuh 1: "Oxymoron Energy Sword, the energy sword that lasts as long as you do, energy swords with the power of an ox"?!   
Ox: MOOOO!   
Numbuh 2: Fire in the hole!   
Numbuhs 1 and 12 look up to see another barrage of killer kisses heading straight for them. Numbuh 11, seeing his mistress and a fellow operative in danger, forcefully push them away from the range of the bizarre ballistics while managing to dodge them as well. The two English operatives, from the force of Numbuh 11's push, roll down the sloping path.   
Numbuh 1: Numbuh 12? Are you okay?   
Numbuh 12 groans, opens her eyes groggily and finds Numbuh 1 lying on top of her, causing her to blush a tasteful shade of crimson.   
Numbuh 12: My... hero.   
Numbuh 11: _Saving your mistress? It's all in a days work for Kats Next Door! That, and not getting any gratitude for it..._   
Numbuh 5: *suddenly* Numbuh 2, are you hungry?   
Numbuh 2: Peckish.   
Numbuh 5: Good enough.   
Numbuh 5 flings a familiar packet of mashed potatoes to Numbuh 2, who devours it quite quickly.   
Numbuh 2: Hmm. Needs salt.   
He mumbles two milliseconds before he starts to experience some very unnatural changes. Numbuh 1 manages to look up from Numbuh 12's tight embraces and drops his shades in utter shock.   
Kanker sisters: [long beeps of censorship here]   
Everyone gasped as Numbuh 2 was turned into his teenage self half the size of the Petronas Towers.   
Lee: Woohoo! Babe magnet!   
Numbuh 2: Take that, teenage scum!   
Numbuh 2 yells as he whips out a S.C.A.M.P.P. of matching size, which luckily for himself he always carries it around for such an emergency. After several blasts of photon phlazers, the Kanker sisters seem to get the message and run for their lives instead.   
Numbuh 2: What's the matter, are ya CHICKEN?!   
As if to answer his call, a glowing chicken suddenly appears from his armpit and turns the Kanker trailer into a bar of soap.   
Numbuh 1: Right. Now let's get back to the S.K.Y.C.L.A.W.... Numbuh 12?   
Numbuh 12: Oh, Numbuh 1... I'm still completely exhausted... Will you... carry me?   
Numbuh 12 never gets her answer, as the teenage Numbuh 2 picks them up as he has done with his other teammates, gently chucks them inside the S.K.Y.C.L.A.W., heaves them up, and starts walking towards the treehouse while muttering something about the need to find an antidote, leaving behind the trailer park, the three Kanker sisters hovering over the three Eds, and the frantic screams of "I'M A MINOR, STOOOOOOOP!!!" 

Umbreon: And that *yawns* ends the third part of Operation STATIC-REAKTUH.   
Vaporeon: For a chapter that took you over twenty days to draft, that was pretty fast.   
Umbreon: I had a card expansion to complete. Now I'll have to struggle with some revision... don't forget to review, folks. Gracias.   
Jolteon suddenly bursts in, holding a stack of homework, apparently suffering from serious lack of sleep.   
Umbreon: Now I hope you learnt something, Jolteon. *picks up the stack of paper* You did all this? Including electrolysis, static electrons and radioactivity?   
Jolteon: What? Did I do something wrong?   
Flareon: I'll say, Umbreon hasn't even covered those yet!   
Espeon: I'll get the medic.   
Espeon teleports away to the infirmary as Jolteon starts foaming violently at the mouth. 


End file.
